Thursday, April 10, 2008

Eight is Enough

Why would you want more kids when one came out so cute??

My latest post from

Two of my husband’s co-workers took him aside recently to tell him they saw "the look" on my face when they’d recently seen me. This "look" was apparently the look of a woman crazed to get pregnant for a second time.
What are they smoking, I asked as soon as he told me this. I mean really, don’t people ever just let you alone to decide when, and if, you want to look like a giant watermelon for nine months? As soon as you announce your plans to get married, the first thing people ask is "so when will you try for children?" Before your doctor can snip the umbilical cord, those same people are on the "so, when will you start trying for your second one?"
I won’t, I respond.
This answer is apparently the same as announcing that you plan to jump out of a plane, dye your hair green or something similarly crazy. Or so I have deduced from the look on people’s faces when I say, "I’m happy with one.’
But who will take care of you when you get old?
Because you know at the age of 31, I am already plotting my escape to the nursing home.
Oh, I don’t know, maybe by then I will have become a famous author and take care of myself. Maybe I’ll just drop dead at the age of 65 so that I don’t have to worry about it.
But come on already, what’s up with this incessant need for women to get pregnant right away after they’ve just had a baby? I couldn’t believe how soon some of the mommies I know started getting that hushed tone as they confided to each other "we’re trying" or "we hope to be pregnant again in two months."
I meanwhile was taking my birth control pills like candy. Hey I’m not against taking two at a time, you know just as a precautionary measure. (I’m kidding of course).
It’s hard enough having one child, I can’t imagine having two. More power to those people who have signed up for the breeding bonanza, but I think I’d go nuts with two. With one child, there are levels of getting back up to speed. In my case, we’re approaching the two year birthday in July, and I am almost feeling like I might be up to half speed. I lost the baby weight (a year after the baby), I finally got him to sleep through the night, I have a line up of babysitters so that I can go out and be an adult. And thank goodness I can have a glass of wine again. (Of course due to said pregnancy and baby, my body chemistry has decided that one glass is okay, two might pass but three means instantaneous headache). But I’m starting to feel like I can at least have a balance again of baby, work, home, husband. I fear that the husband time component of that list might be knocked out due to lack of time if I added another baby.
So yes, I guess you could say I’m missing the female gene that causes me to think about the going through that all over again. Apparently this was part of the same gene that instills in women the knowledge of how to apply make up or style their hair. This is twice as unfortunate since now I will have no one to style my hair when I am old and in the nursing home.. Maybe there is something to be said for having another child.


Nana Nolan said...

He is sooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!

Nana Nolan said...

Oops...It's me....Susan....Forgot to sign my name.

vincent said...

Uh, Lara... Bite your tongue. With Steffi at age 12, I BELIEVED entirely the same thing. When I went to the fair with her in September I told Judge Wallar on the way in, "Steffi is doing fine. And no, I am not having another one. Why would I when this one is so close to perfect?". SURPRISE!!! In January, here came SIENNA!!! BEWARE!!! Talk about a shock... I thought it was early menopause!!!